Archive for May, 2010

May the Tenth

Today Monkey made a spicy curry for dinner.  Monkey of course made this all from scratch, all organic and without the use of any fancy, over priced kitchen gadgets.  Oh sure, when people visit your decadent kitchen, full of everything Williams Sonoma has that will fit in your Highlander, they are dully impressed.  However, you don’t actually know a thing about cooking.  True you can impress you sycophantic friends with your high end packet mix meals but you lack any ability beyond measuring out a bit a water and bringing it to a boil.  The funny part is you have somehow managed to act smug.  However, you shouldn’t be.  Monkey, who once turned down a Michelin star as too pedestrian, is smug enough for you all.

Monkey is putting in extra pepper.


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May the Third

Today Monkey watched a hopeless act of monumental futility.  Do you really need to spend so much time deliberating over which stick to use?  Do you?  Oh not that one, the tip is a bit off.  Hmmm, this one has a small nick in the shaft, might hang up on something.  This one looks good, better roll it on the table, make sure the shaft is true.  These are some of the imagined thoughts Monkey sees bouncing around in your empty head.  Monkey would like to hold out hope that someday, in the not too distant future, you will come to the realization that your shitty ass pool play is not a result of inferior stick selection.  Instead, blame lies fully in your years long meth habit, that has left you more shaky than a jack hammer.  Too, bad for you, and your bowels, Monkey is also aware that said meth habit will keep you from any moments of epiphany.

Monkey is going to show you where to put that stick.

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